Why do experts advise talking about your feelings? Because it’s one of our natural, built-in, therapeutic capacities. We use our words to express what we want and need and the same should be for our feelings. For example, as a toddler, we use our words to tell our parents if something is wrong, so they can help comfort us and make it right. This doesn't change when we are adults. Talking can help us in many ways, especially if your trauma or problem is on-going, unexpected, or doesn't have an easy answer. In reality, your brain and body get a lot out of talking.
Three Reasons to Talk
It gives us a sense of "doing" something. By talking, we are doing something active not passive and we are reaching out for help.
Talking gives us an opportunity to "hear" ourselves and “listen" to ourselves. It gives us an opportunity to adjust our thoughts and feelings.
Lastly talking teaches us that thoughts and feelings are usually less ominous when we say them out loud to others versus thinking about them privately.
First, your feelings matter. If something upsets you, it is how you feel; your own personal experience has value. That’s why it’s important for you to process your feelings.
Second, talking about your feelings helps you to take control of your emotions. If you constantly just swallow your feelings and try to bottle them up, they might build up and eventually consume your mind. How you feel determines how you think and act. If you let these feelings take control of you, they also control your thoughts and actions.
Talking also allows you to acknowledge your feelings and you develop emotional awareness. Through talking it out, you understand your emotions and begin to figure out why you feel that way. One tool you can use to help you in this is the emotion wheel. It states 7 basic emotions that are then divided into more complex feelings: happy, surprised, bad, fearful, angry, disgusted, sad. You then can identify the reason behind your emotions and can help you find a solution
Talking about your feelings is also healing, and the bulk of therapy is just talking. Most clients find that the two-way communication helps them to get deeper into their hearts. Another thing we must remember is that feelings occur for a reason and, just as the body needs to breathe to stay alive, you also need to express your emotions to stay healthy.
In theory, what ever you are struggling with, it is ok to talk about what it is you are feeling.
It's a mistake to think you can run from your own feelings. No matter how hard you may try to distract yourself, you're still going to feel whatever is going on inside you. Trying to push down or avoid your emotions is a recipe for future problems - certainly emotional and possibly physical as well.