Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior in which the perpetrator insults, humiliates, and generally instills fear in an individual in order to control them. The individual's reality may become distorted as they internalize the abuse as their own failings.
People who suffer emotional abuse can experience short-term difficulties such as confusion, fear, difficulty concentrating, and low confidence, as well as nightmares, aches, and a racing heart. Long-term repercussions may include anxiety, insomnia, and social withdrawal.
What are the warning signs of emotional abuse?
Emotional abuse centers around control, manipulation, isolation, and demeaning or threatening behavior. Signs of abuse can include, but limited to:
• Monitoring and controlling a person’s behavior, such as who they spend time with or how they spend money.
• Threatening a person’s safety, property, or loved ones
• Isolating a person from family, friends, and acquaintances
• Demeaning, shaming, or humiliating a person
• Delivering constant criticism
• Regular ridicule or teasing
• Making acceptance or care conditional on a person’s choices
• Refusing to allow a person to spend time alone
• Thwarting a person’s professional or personal goals
• Instilling self-doubt and worthlessness
• Gaslighting: making a person question their competence and even their basic perceptual experiences.
What tactics do emotionally abusive people use?
Perpetrators of emotional abuse consistently criticize, shame, and humiliate in order to gain control and power in a relationship. They may yell at their victim, call them names, or level baseless accusations against them. They may act jealous and possessive, monitoring the person’s whereabouts and communication by checking their phone. An emotional abuser may gaslight their victim into believing that their unhappiness is their own fault. And they often seek to isolate their victim from friends and family, to prevent the person from getting a reality check or broader perspective.
Who is likely to be an abuser?
Abusers deny their harmful patterns of behavior and blame their victims. They tend to be possessive, hypersensitive, and have a strong need for control, which motivates them to wield power in the relationship. Abusive tendencies may stem from deep insecurities or a mental health condition.
How common is emotional abuse?
Research suggests that over 50 percent of adults may experience emotional abuse in their lifetime, although the concept is difficult to reliably measure. Emotional abuse is designated as an adverse childhood experience, one experienced by 11 percent of children, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
What is the psychological toll of emotional abuse?
Victims of emotional abuse are often worn down so that they cannot see the harmful dynamics clearly. They come to believe that the relationship challenges are their own fault. They may spend time ruminating and bargaining, considering how they can adapt their behavior or avoid confrontation. Victims may struggle with problems of self-esteem, as well as anxiety and depression.
How do you leave an emotionally abusive relationship?
Most victims of abusive or violent relationships eventually leave. It often takes several attempts, but a few common themes emerge from womens’ experience finally ending the relationship. One step is confronting reality, by acknowledging that the circumstances will not change, becoming educated about emotional abuse, and realizing the abuse is not the victim’s fault, which allows them to recover a sense of self-worth. Another step is accepting help from family, friends, or a therapist, who can see the situation clearly and provide resources and support. Another factor is the desire to protect the children from witnessing abuse or being abused themselves. The last factor for some is reaching a breaking point, where fear simply becomes overwhelming.
How do you recover from emotional abuse?
Therapy can help you move forward by processing the experience, rebuilding self-esteem, and addressing symptoms such as anxiety or insomnia. In the context of a new relationship, survivors can continue healing from emotional abuse by acknowledging the past abuse with their partner, resolving to prioritize oneself over any potential abuse in the future, and then responding to triggers of past pain with self-compassion.
Healing from Abuse!
Leaving an abusive relationship is challenging but completely possible. Victims must come to recognize that reasoning with an abuser is not effective and that the individual will probably never change. To begin to heal, experts advise those leaving an emotionally abusive relationship seek support from one’s social circle and also a therapist.
Emotional Abuse Test
*This test is for anyone concerned they (or someone they know) may be in an abusive relationship. It’s designed for adults and is not intended to be diagnostic.
If you think you or someone you know may be in an emotionally abusive relationship, seek help immediately.
**Source Material "Psychology Today"